HEAD AND/OR DRUG HABIT

Driving around East Downtown. Drunk at the main bus terminal ... frost on my work clothes ... a horrible portal found inside Harrisburg. Bus driver asleep on the rear seat. Suburban train immersed in a frozen lake. Cigarettes from the grocery store. Wooden palings piled onto the passenger seat. My pulse slows ... I am inside the communal laundry room. Ashtrays inside the empty apartment. The cool sunlight ... my fingers fall apart. Driving around drunk again. Frost falling over the main bus terminal. Work clothes washing at the laundromat. My fresh cigarette … large fries ... orange juice. Construction worker assaulted on a city street. Bright silver as the sunlight burns. Thick ice cubes in my brandy glass. The dark recesses of Texas. Adam’s mouth hangs open. My skin hurts. Adam’s wide smile. Security door at the skate park. Metallic chairs on the house patio. My voice fades ... I walk in a different direction. My voice fades ... heads to a different direction. Deep breaths on a disappointing evening. The phone rings. Lost suitcases surround trees. I walk to the grocery store. Adam walks to the convenience store. Light radiates ... a cool temperature. Many dead bodies. A grey dream speed rattle. The cold air. My arms wrap around Adam. I am numb. My head hits the concrete. My body is warm. The incessant rattle inside the Washburn Tunnel. Bodies with sharp metallic blades as bones. Skin flesh body hair. The pungent stench ... the petrochemical smells of Houston. Alarm clock throughout an empty apartment. A deep desire to consume my own flesh. The winter months of Houston. Adam’s wide smile. I am asleep ... cigarette resting on t-shirt and chest. My thoughts disappear. A long hallway ... Adam on a huge bed ... dead bodies ... blood ... black holes ... a nuclear reactor. The wind blows a strange mixture of cold and breath smells. A young man with blonde hair. He has grey skin ... a wide smile ... his whole-body shakes. My lungs are dry. Police officers at the front door. Fancy kid found at the end of the hallway. Monochrome across Medina County. Adam gets assaulted inside the communal laundry room. His pulse slows ... the entire city crumbles. I drive home ... while Adam talks in the passenger seat. Fences surround trees. Lost suitcases ... a disappointing evening. I take a deep breath. The phone rings. Monochrome heat across Medina County. Light radiates ... a cool temperature. The air is frozen. The entire world ... real space. Adam as a beautiful young man. Adam as a beautiful young woman. My back aches ... my legs flail ... my teeth chatter ... thoughts ... these thoughts. Bright sunlight burns on a city street. He writes his phone number on the toilet stall. Adam hits me with a hard fist ... a tough punch. I am asleep inside the bus terminal. Cigarette smoke on my breath. Horrible portals ... Harrisburg. Cassette tapes ... compact disc … cigarettes. Hot breath. Asleep inside the bus terminal. Hard tongue against my body. Adam gives me his phone number. Beautiful feeling screams teeth blades body chatter. Thick smoke throughout Frostwood. A messy expanse of sweat on Adam’s body ... hot breath and sticky grease. Horrible portals ... Harrisburg. Bright silver as the sunlight burns. Human waste on the tracks inside the Union Pacific railyard. Some small-town kid with a thin layer of blankets ... a bundle of clothes. An empty silence ... an eerie dream ... the skin shimmers ... White dots on pale skin. Cassette tapes ... compact disc … cigarettes. My body trembles ... some horrible feeling. Hot breath and sticky grease. Dead bodies ... blood ... black holes ... a nuclear reactor. Homeless biker hounded to death by police officers. Our conversations captured on cassette tapes ... transferred to compact disc. Cigarette smoke from a fresh cigarette. Adam orders a large fries ... a medium orange juice. My eyes burn ... the shambling lights of Houston …

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Shane Jesse Christmass

@sjxsjc